Your Next-Door Neighbor Is a Dragon by Zack Parsons

Author:Zack Parsons [Parsons, Zack]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp
Published: 2009-07-31T23:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIX

Fanfic

Gimli only nodded. For four months now, they had been trying to have a child, without success. They had tried everything anyone suggested: positions, tests, examinations, and most recently, herbal teas. But for some reason, no matter how hard they tried, Legolas had yet to conceive.

—From Fertility by Cheysuli

It took five weeks of following leads and rumors and an undercover stint as an author of Kim Possible stories to get me close to Janus. He was the mysterious mastermind behind some of the world’s most popular erotic fan fiction.

As I drove to meet him I actually felt nervous. He was one of the kings of the Internet and there I was only minutes away from our arranged meeting at a Home Depot.

Denizens of the Internet called the postmodern mash-up of pop culture and uncensored sexuality “fanfic” for short. The writers were peddling fantasies to an insatiable audience, wantonly infringing on copyrights and damaging trademarks.

Janus was at the top of the game. His stories were highly anticipated must-reads, spanning genres and incorporating some of the most popular characters. Those characters often included Janus himself.

Janus didn’t limit himself to the characters of a given movie, TV show, book, comic, or video game. He wasn’t limited to “slash” and wasn’t just crossing over characters from one movie to another. He practiced literary self-insertion. Proudly.

“After all,” one of his followers argued, “Dante traveled to his own Inferno. Chaucer wrote himself into The Canterbury Tales. Why shouldn’t the author include himself as the protagonist when exploring his sexuality within the framework of a Teen Titans episode?”

“He’s the best,” that same Janus follower e-mailed me. “You’ve got to talk to Janus for your book.”

I familiarized myself with some of his masterworks. My introduction, on the advice of that fan, was Henrietta Potter, a reimagining of Harry Potter in which Harry drinks a potion that turns him into a girl and he must be saved by Janus.

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